Not My Strength

I think one of the verses in the Bible I fall back on the most is in Philippians. Chapter 4. verse 13.

You want to look it up real quick?

I can do all things thru Christ that strengthens me.

I consider myself a weak person. Stubborn? Oh yes. Responsible? Yea,  I think so… Dependable? uh huh, I’m pretty dependable, at least I think I am! Do I think I can do all things?  Nope.  I don’t think I can do all things, I know that this is a reliable, secured fact. One of the areas I am weak is:  I get scared and afraid of regular people. Yes. Most the time, I would rather be the fly on the wall. I don’t like the spotlight nor large crowds. Crowds give me the jitters.  I don’t always feel up to social gatherings and I would rather chew my finger off then call someone I don’t know. I have problems with confronting people verbally. I’m afraid I will be left standing there with the losing end of the debate. Now I can write to you.Thats ok. I can show you “me” any day using a pen.

I also have problems with not following thru on good habits that I’m trying to adopt. And problems with procrastination on things, I just don’t want to do. I have issues with allowing satan to paint his ugliness on my days and not getting out the magic eraser immediately to get rid of the marks. I am a very horrible person some days. And all the other days, A “just not great” person.

There are a lot of places in my heart that the muscles just aren’t worked on a regular basis. Those muscles hurt bad when I do use them.  But, regardless of what I was or wasn’t gifted to do, there are so many things I need to do and have to do regularly or annually, or… whenever the Holy spirit prompts me to DO IT. The times when I think, I just can’t go on. The moments I just wish I weren’t involved with. The uncomfortable feeling that I come to know when I’m doing things that aren’t a natural way for me.  Those things that I’m just sure, I cannot do. Its Christ’s power in me that over rides my weak system. Its the Holy spirit who opens my mouth to say what I should say, what I can not say on my own.

Its his strength that moves my fingers that are being called to action. When I feel weak, I have to ask him to step in and take things over. Because, my humanness has trouble letting go of control  consistently. I have to hand over the assignment I feel I can’t handle.  I have to give him my passcode and allow him inside to give me the updates I have to have in order to achieve what I’m being asked to do. Letting The spirit infiltrate my soul  I have to start my day giving him the reigns to drive it. (The Lord knows, I get us lost if I don’t.) I can Everyday, (when I ask) do all things thru Christ, who gives me the strength to do it. I know for certain it isn’t mine.

~Alice

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